An Exercise In Confidence

An Exercise In Confidence

Did you know that confidence is a learnable skill? If you look at your life right now you will find confidence in many areas. If you are honest with yourself you will also notice areas of your life where you lack confidence.

For example, being a mom is a big part of my life. I love it. This wasn’t always the case. Not that I didn’t love being a mom, but I was scared when my first daughter was born. What if I dropped her? What if I fed her the wrong foods? What if I couldn’t protect her from all the ills of the world? (I’ve since learned I can’t.) I was always watching other moms, worried that they might be judging me. Had my desire to be a great mom not been so strong at the time, I very likely would have let the discomfort of the situation affect my mental psyche.

But I didn’t. I talked to experienced moms and started to learn. I slowly became more comfortable in my new role. After a few short weeks, it was almost second nature to me. I had developed confidence. The same way I had developed confidence when I learned to ride a bike as a young boy and when I learned how to drive at age 16.

There is no trick to the development of confidence. It is a predictable process that any of us can implement for virtually any action or habit in our lives.

Have you recognized this and applied this in your life?

Have you mistakenly accused yourself of not having the ability to do something due to a lack of confidence?

I want you to take a moment right now and mentally review your dominant thought patterns.

Most people have at least one area in their life where they lack confidence. For some, it could be speaking in public, for others it could be meeting new people and developing relationships. Identify that specific area in your life right now.

  1. Identify a major goal that you would like to achieve.
  2. Identify where you lack confidence in terms of the obtainment of this goal. I assume you lack confidence in this area because if you did not lack confidence then you would have achieved this goal by now. So identify what that blockage is:
    1. If you’re an entrepreneur, maybe you lack confidence in presenting funding proposals to other business owners or financial institutions.
    2. If you are in sales perhaps you are limiting your success by not pursuing the large accounts.
    3. Maybe you are in a relationship and you’re not happy with your partner’s behavior. Do you lack the confidence to ask for what you want?
  3. Write at least one paragraph that describes your confidence block and your current state of mind. When you imagine yourself in this situation of low confidence, what comes up for you? Are you anxious, nervous, upset, etc… Describe your state as accurately as possible.
  4. Now that you are aware of your confidence blockages, you can begin to redevelop them. Define one major activity that you can implement ASAP that moves you towards your goal.
    1. If you have a fear of speaking, your activity could be to rehearse a 10 minute power speech in front of the mirror.
    2. If you struggle in sales, you could plan to practice and refine your sales presentation with a manager or senior colleague.
  5. Write a commitment to yourself to practice this new activity every single day for the next 30 days. If you really want to commit to this, find an accountability partner and perform the activity with them so that you have a witness.
  6. At the end of 30 days, repeat step 3 again and analyze where you are at in terms of confidence. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10.

Continue this until you reach a level that you are satisfied with when it comes to your confidence in this area of your life!

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